Dating for a person with a disability is something that many dread. Many different cultures across the world are so inhibitive that it is hard to find a disabled person openly dating. This has however changed over the years. Of late however, with the popularizing of disability dating sites especially those focusing more on people with disabilities, the society is starting to change. Many people have started accepting that being disabled has nothing to do with love or personality.
Even though dating is fun for anyone who goes into it with a positive mind, a disabled person will need more than that. Many are the times that ‘normal’ people will look at a disabled person and see a person who needs help. People are looking for a partner they can share their happy times together and lean on when things are rough. The society seems to have made people to believe that disabled people are there to lean on, nothing more. This often makes dates hard to find for the disabled especially when it comes to ‘normal’ people.
People often look in awe at a disabled person who does more than the society expects of them. People tend to look at a person who is doing their masters degree or PhD in fascination. This is an extension of the perception that the society categorizes disabled people as ‘damaged’ goods. Being disabled has nothing to do with one’s personality. That is the loud cry that the society needs to acknowledge from the disabled. A disabled person is just like any other person albeit with a disability.
There is a lot that has changed in the society though and a disabled person can date another disabled person. The society has matured to a level where a ‘normal’ person can actually meet, date and even marry a person with a disability. There are many such couples all over the world. While the stereotyping of the disabled people has marginally reduced especially when it comes to dating, it is upon you as a disabled person to take the initiative and explore the world fearlessly.
A disabled person will need to be fully accepting of their condition. By accepting their state, they are able to live full happy lives. Just as it is for other people, to enjoy life, you need to be ready to face it. Step forward and offer your very best as far as dating is concerned and the world will surely return the favor.
There should be no pretense that dating for a disabled person easy or anywhere comparable to what ‘normal’ people go through. However, the important step for a person is to step out and explore the many dating places available. There are dating sites, dating clubs, social places and local hook ups.
You will be forgiven to think that dating today is easier compared to three decades ago. Despite the world having thousands of channels through which people can interact and even meet their dates and life partners, the dating scene is no easy stroll in the park. The situation is even bleak for people who suffer any disability.
On top of the challenges that you imagine you have dating as a normal person, add that on to what a disabled person has to deal with and you will see things differently. This is not to say that being disabled makes it impossible to date, but rather, it is a tedious job. Here are some of the challenges that disabled people have to deal with on top of what a normal person experiences.
People will vanish the moment they discover you use a wheelchair or you have a disability. This will be the case particularly if you fail to mention about your condition early enough. Dating today is normally initiated online, you might be tempted to skip the obvious detail – you have a disability. While some people will take you as you are, others will run when they discover this. The solution to this is to be clear and honest from the word go.
Oftentimes, you find people trying to empathize with a person who has a disability. In certain cases, you will even find people ‘falling in love’ with the situation that you are in rather than yourself. In such instances you will hear of people saying that you are very ‘inspiring’. While a disabled person can be inspiring, it is important for people to realize that a disabled person is eking through life like anyone else. Complementing them for something obvious in their state can make them feel like you are doing so out of pity. Dating can be full of these comments.
The society is such that many ‘normal’ people will overlook a disabled person when searching for a date or partner. This often leads to emotional humiliation for a disabled person. In order to deal with that, many disabled people will look for casual dates. A person with a disability will first look into ways through which they can determine if their date is the right one to share their emotions with.
Culture is not to be forgotten as the one major challenge that a majority of disabled people have to deal with. In some cultures, a disabled person is regarded as person of no use. Such cultures perceive disabled people as the damaged goods of the human race and they should not be socialized with. Dating a person either ‘normal’ or disabled from such a society can pose big problems now and later.
Everyone finds themselves dating at one point or another in their lives. Some date for long while others are lucky to find their soul mate earlier in their dating life. There are obvious challenges which are faced by everyone who has a physical disability when it comes to dating. It is especially traumatizing if you have an arm or leg amputated.
You could have been used to looking life via the lenses of a ‘normal’ person and then all over sudden you have to deal with an amputated arm. The world is indeed an unpredictable place. But as dating and other psychology experts agree, life doesn’t have to be harsh for you no matter your circumstances. Learn to embrace what it throws your way and you will find it accommodating and comfortable at the very least.
When you have had your arm amputated for whatever reason, you will first have to learn to adapt with your new movement challenges. You also have to learn how to care for yourself in your current condition. Despite the depressing feeling and not wanting to socialize, you need to come out and socialize more than ever. If you are single, you need to continue meeting new people and socializing. Life should never stop with the amputation surgery.
See a therapist after an amputation. Many people will see a therapist after they have had their limbs amputated. This is because a person needs to learn how to deal with their ‘new’ self. A therapist will be of help to you also if you are single. Such an expert will help you embrace your new body and learn how to enjoy life in your current condition. Subsequently, you will have an easy time socializing.
It is important that you be a good talker. Retrospectively, you should also be a keen listener. Talking helps you express yourself clearly and fast. You will be able to express your opinion candidly on what you want to communicate. This helps the other person to know you. Also don’t interrupt when the other person is talking. This is a basic rule for anyone who wants to create a first lasting impression in the dating scene.
You are nothing more than what you think and present yourself to be. Whether you are normal or disabled, what you think you are is what matters. When entering the dating environment, you should be yourself. Put your best foot forward. Present the best version of yourself. People will of course see that you are an amputee but they will quickly move on to appreciate just how lovely you are. You will easily find a date this way.
When it comes to dating, there are many challenges that an amputee has to face. Needless to say, the internet is not the only solution and definitely not the best. However, when you incorporate the use of social media, dating sites and physical way of meeting new exciting people, dating becomes pretty manageable. There are a number of amputee dating sites like Amputee Dating Club, which is very popular and well respected.
Everyone deserves a good life. A person with a disability deserves to be happy just like a ‘normal’ person. Dating for people with disabilities has been made incredibly easy today because there are countless dating sites which are specifically dedicated to them. There are many dating sites which specifically target disabled. However, there are several other sites which have moved from separating people into normal and disabled as far as dating is involved and they encourage all to mingle and date.
A dating site should of course have the prerequisite numbers. A dating site with just 100 profiles is no dating site. A dating site should ideally be one where there are thousands if not tens of thousands of singles who are looking for dates. There is a huge advantage in numbers. You will have the opportune luxury of perusing through the profiles and this ultimately increases your chance of finding your perfect date.
Dating is big business worth billions of dollars. While a majority of dating sites both those that cater for disabled and non disabled people is growing, there are those which are fraudulent. In order to avoid being scammed, you should check a dating site’s credentials. A good way of knowing whether a website is genuine is by reading its customer reviews which are posted on review sites.
In your life, you must know of a person who has met their partner through internet. It is no longer a weird thing to date online or use dating sites. In fact, the trend today for both people with disabilities and those without is to create an online profile in the hope of finding their date. In order to locate that credible website which offers the best service, ask your friends and family members for any referrals.
While the internet is praised for making the world a perfect global village, there are people who are using it for unscrupulous ends. You should expect scammers and genuine people and anything in between. Be on the lookout because there is always the possibility that you can become a target of a time waster or a scammer. Some disability websites try to minimize this by asking its subscribers to pay a little fee using their credit card.
Dating has no predefined rules which a disabled or a non-disabled person can follow. All you have to do is be yourself and be open to what the world has to offer. The other dating basics include being confident, honesty and most of all trusting your instincts. For your own safety especially on your first date, meet in a public place, do not drink too much and check out the meeting location first.