The Challenges Of Dating With A Disability
You will be forgiven to think that dating today is easier compared to three decades ago. Despite the world having thousands of channels through which people can interact and even meet their dates and life partners, the dating scene is no easy stroll in the park. The situation is even bleak for people who suffer any disability.
On top of the challenges that you imagine you have dating as a normal person, add that on to what a disabled person has to deal with and you will see things differently. This is not to say that being disabled makes it impossible to date, but rather, it is a tedious job. Here are some of the challenges that disabled people have to deal with on top of what a normal person experiences.
People will vanish the moment they discover you use a wheelchair or you have a disability. This will be the case particularly if you fail to mention about your condition early enough. Dating today is normally initiated online, you might be tempted to skip the obvious detail – you have a disability. While some people will take you as you are, others will run when they discover this. The solution to this is to be clear and honest from the word go.
People tend to look at you in a different light. While you will see a handsome tall guy as such, you might be tempted to see him differently if he were in a wheelchair. We live in a society where physical appearance matters a lot. The challenge is that people will first see you as a disabled person then try to understand you.
Oftentimes, you find people trying to empathize with a person who has a disability. In certain cases, you will even find people ‘falling in love’ with the situation that you are in rather than yourself. In such instances you will hear of people saying that you are very ‘inspiring’. While a disabled person can be inspiring, it is important for people to realize that a disabled person is eking through life like anyone else. Complementing them for something obvious in their state can make them feel like you are doing so out of pity. Dating can be full of these comments.
The society is such that many ‘normal’ people will overlook a disabled person when searching for a date or partner. This often leads to emotional humiliation for a disabled person. In order to deal with that, many disabled people will look for casual dates. A person with a disability will first look into ways through which they can determine if their date is the right one to share their emotions with.
Culture is not to be forgotten as the one major challenge that a majority of disabled people have to deal with. In some cultures, a disabled person is regarded as person of no use. Such cultures perceive disabled people as the damaged goods of the human race and they should not be socialized with. Dating a person either ‘normal’ or disabled from such a society can pose big problems now and later.